Thursday, March 8, 2012

I am scared

You know that person you really love, that one person whose text lights up your day, the one your happiness relies on? yeah that one.. Have you ever wondered what it'll be like when you can't talk to that person again? when you can't receive that special text anymore.

I have bn thinking about this recently, and realized how most people's happiness in one way or the other rely on another human, how some days are filled with much sadness 'cos they haven't spoken to that 'special person'. How we sometimes already see ten to twenty years into the future with that person.

But what we never think about is what happens when we no longer have access to that person.
I am going to try to make this as general as possible, however I'll speak from personal experiences. I don't like getting hurt! That's as straight forward as it can get.. I know it sounds selfish and evil, but i'll rather be the one to hurt someone than get hurt. I love the lonely life. It was a life I despised before, but now i've come to realize the many advantages of having my happiness rely on me and me alone, okay and the Supreme being God... unlike human beings, we can always talk to God and believe he hears us.

You know the forever alone association yeah? well I know it too, why? because I am the treasurer.. I am scared of loving and not receiving back... Scared I'll get too involved with someone that it'll hurt to watch them leave. Of course I am not talking from just movies and stuff... I am human.. I've bn emotionally attached in some cases and I watched helplessly as my heart was torn into pieces, and I always make the same vow not to 'fall' again.... But of course I 'fall' again, luckily for me, it takes me about a year or so to make the same 'mistake' again. Yes I call falling in love a mistake.

Unlike most people, I don't look for love.. I AM SCARED OF LOVE.. I just want to be happy.. I just want to party hard, I just want to smile..I don't wan't my happiness to be in the hands of someone else... I AM SCARED OF GETTING HURT..


  1. Well, well, then I guess u should take Nat's advise,"When I fall in love it will be forever
    Or I'll never fall in love
    In a restless world like this is
    Love is ended before it's begun
    And too many moonlight kisses
    Seem to cool in the warmth of the sun

    When I give my heart it will be completely
    Or I'll never give my heart
    And the moment I can feel that you feel that way too
    Is when I fall in love with you.

    And the moment I can feel that you feel that way too
    Is when I fall in love with you."

    1. Hey thanks for your contribution Kobby :)
      We can't control the other person'e emotions unfortunately, it's hard to know when someone actually falls in love.. we can only 100 percent testify for ourselves.. Every other person;s feeling is a mystery :(

  2. i totally agree.....

    1. Thanks anonymous :(
      Come off anonymous next time :P

  3. Motilewa ElizabethMarch 9, 2012 at 10:23 AM

    To me,I know "love is hurt","love is pain"and at the same time,"love is happiness n joy",even our heavenly father love us so much but we still break he's heart by committing sins,so note my dear,even God doesn't get the full love from us humans,den y do u expect we humans to love one another with out getting hurt. We all just ve to fall in love some day n get hurt one day n fall in love again n get hurt again,that wat makes us stronger n that's wat make us more wise....ones beaten twice shine...that's life,no one is perfect.

    1. Yay! you came on my blog.. Thanks baby geh..
      And yeah, I get, but what I don't understand is why i have to go through happiness knowing one day the happiness will go.... Why would I want to suffer the long sleepless nights for a few nights of blissful dreams... I know it all sounds so.. scrobo right now, and I know i'll still fall in love.. hopefully in the future, but my point is.. Do i really want to?

      Thanks for dropping a comment.. I really really appreciate it.. and I love you :D

  4. Awww my sweet debo, nicely written..... Everyone is scared of falling in love.....