Taxi Wahala

As most of you know, I am now a corper Shun. *sigh* I still don't understand what random strangers that shout "corper Shun" when they see me in my NYSC uniform expect me to say.
Like am I supposed to shout yes sir back or something.
Fellow and past corpers will understand the pain this causes.
Anyway, so my CDs (community Development service) is on Fridays. Luckily for me I am in the athletics CDs and we do nada. We just meet at the Stadium on Fridays, sign, gist then o da bo (good bye).
So one beautiful Friday morning, I woke up with a frown on my face, thinking of how I'll take a taxi to the stadium (10 minutes away from my house), sign, then take another taxi back home. Unnecessary spending... But I do not want my service year extended, so I dressed up, got a taxi and began the "long journey" to the stadium.
At this point, I should tell ya'll that there are two stadiums: the small one and the big one. My CDs is at the big one.
Me: Good morning, please take me to the stadium.
Taxi guy: okay.. Enter na
Me: How much?
Taxi guy: Tere *three* hundred *with Hausa accent*
Me: stadium here *i point to my left, like I can actually see the stadium *I'll give you two hundred
Taxi guy: okay okay. Enper *enter*
Okay, that was easy.
So the taxi guy starts driving, and then I realised he was driving towards the gate of the small stadium.
Me: Not this one ooh. The other stadium.
Taxi man : *nods head*
The man continued going in the same direction.
Me: oga, I said not this stadium, the big one.
Taxi guy: ehn.. Yelph yelp *mumbles something about turning*
So I assumed he wanted to turn. Bros entered the stadium oh, and next thing he parked.
Me: why are you parking? i said not this one.
Taxi Guy: me meubsj mduvsvksive. No English... Nduhe nsnitbs skysv
Ghen ghen! The man did not understand English, only Hausa. Jesu! I started cracking my brain for all the Hausa I ever learnt. I tried to remember the one I learnt when I was teaching my gateman's kids to speak English. I tried to remember the one I learnt from my friend Hadiza that was always skyping in Hausa, even in class oo.
Me: oga... You go back, you turn, you other stadium, ee big, ee another one, ee sanu, ee nagode.
I was trying so hard to use my hands to explain him.
The man just started vexing oooh.
Taxi guy: ee stadium, ee stadium, ee no go, ee no go.
He sha turned around, and started heading to the other stadium that was like two minutes away.
Taxi guy: me no go 200, you give 500.
Gbese! For stadium that is here?
Me: which kain 500? I'll give you 200.
Taxi guy: me drop you on the road. No go, no go, no go.
Me: I'll give you 300, oya go.
Taxi guy: me no go, me no go.
We were on the express way o... If the guy dropped me, there is no way I'll get another taxi.
Jesu!
Taxi Guy: you go 500?
Me: For what? Please take me back to my house.
Taxi guy: Oya ee *nods head*
The guy wanted to turn back and take me home ooh. I looked at the time, gheun! I was really late for my cds.
Me: okay, i'll give you 300. You get change for 1000.
Taxi guy: eee money too big. No change no change *grumbles, puts hand on head, stops car, puts hand on steering, looks like he wants to cry*
Me drop you now. You carry money. You gooo.
Lol! What did I ever do to this man.
At this point, I was really angry myself.
Me: oya give me change now, let me go.
The guy just started driving oooo. He didnt say a word to me again.
I was scared lol. I have entered it oooh. This one will use me for ritual today. I started praying in the spirit there and then... Ehn *baba shakaspkhsh brusheeresssbbbh *
The guy finally found his way to the big stadium. I sighed ehn! Sigh of relief.
I brought out the 1000 again.
Taxi guy: Ooooo... No change no change *started crying*
Kai! I cant leave my 700naira for taxi man ooh. I am just a corper on N19,800 salary.
Me: okay, you wait, me go, me sign, me come, you take me home, me give you 600.
Taxi guy: *smiles* okay, okay... No time, small time *meaning, dont take time, be fast oo"
By the time I got there, my CDs supervisor had already packed her signing books. I had to start begging her to allow me sign. We were like seven late comers... The woman just ignored us all and started walking to her car...
I ran after her ooh! Ehn! After the drama I have entered, I still wont sign.
Me: let me help you carry your bag ma.
CDS Supervisor: Did I say my hands are paining me?
Sha sha, after going round and round, she finally allowed me sign.
Only me, out of the seven people.
CDS Supervisor: You like feeling special ehn? Next time come late oo..
So I went back to the taxi guy. Bros was standing peeping, like he was waiting for me to run.
Me: ahn. So you thought I'll run away.
Anyway, he drove me back home. I got change on my way back.
I then decided to give him the 1000 instead of 600.
As I brought the money out to give him. The man started crying again oo.
Taxi guy: No change, no change nau.
Me: no. Keep it.
Taxi guy: *smiles* ahhh! My customer. My prend my prend, Give me my lumber....
Me; what?
Taxi Guy: Give me my lumber.
Lol! I started teaching him English ooh.
Me: No, it is give me your number.
Lol! He then repeated it after me.
I sha did not give him my number. Sometimes I see him in his taxi in my estate, and he shouts "ahh, my friend, my friend".
Thats how ten minutes drive turned to an hour ooo