Saturday, March 22, 2014

The Blessing of Singleness

Hi darlings, 

A lady "mistakenly" sent this to me this morning, I think she mixed up the "Debbies" on her phone... 
But I read it, and felt I should share it with all of you... 
Have a really open mind while reading this, and understand the blessings and advantages of being single.... 

"Hi Debbie. Akosua here. Had planned to pray with you but when I opened my eyes, it was 7 😳😟

Relationships are not a solution. Marriage is not a solution. When you walk down the aisle in a white dress and a tuxedo, whatever is wrapped under the white dress is what you take home. Many young people tend to overlook the reservations they have about whoever they are dating - believing the person will change after marriage or when they get into the relationship. And they get into relationships and it gets unpleasant. There are many things we must use our period of singleness and solitude for. 

One thing to note is that your relationship or marriage is only as good as your singleness. What you invest yourself while you're single is what you will reap when you are in a relationship. I believe God doesn't want us to be equipped with skills that we need to find partners. Instead, He wants us to learn how to be single. 

The desire to have a partner is NOT ungodly. Our own Father after creating everything perfectly, noted a single defect in His creation - that man was alone. He even said "it is not good for man to be alone". It wasn't Moses who said it. It wasn't a prophet. God Himself. He understands. And so He created a companion. A woman. Someone to complement the man. And He has made the relationship they share very sacred.
Marriage is SO dear to God's heart. Out of all the human institutions, marriage was the only one designed to result in a covenant. Not only by the words professed at the altar and the legal document which is signed - but God created woman uniquely. Every woman comes onto this earth with a special blood-holding organ. On the night of a wedding, when a man and his wife consummate the marriage, blood is spilled. On both the man and the woman. A covenant is cut - just like it's done in the Bible. Marriage is so sacred to God. He makes provision for us to share that degree of intimacy with Him.

Two are better than one, Because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, For he has no one to help him up. Again, if two lie down together, they will keep warm; But how can one be warm alone? Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him. And a threefold cord is not quickly broken. (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 NKJV)

Now, although the text is sent in a context of labour and toiling, these verses in isolation can be likened to a relationship between a man and a woman enjoyed in the presence of The Lord. 

However, although the desire to get 'booed up' is not ungodly, being consumed by this desire is. The devil is in the business of making godly desires become ungodly by making it an obsession. He's done the same with wealth - even after John under the influence and power of the Holy Spirit said in 3 John 1:2 'beloved, I pray that you may prosper in ALL things and be in health even as your soul prospers' He says in Deuteronomy 8:18 that He gives us the power to get wealth. God will never give you power to get anything evil. But it's when one becomes fixated on these things that we lose sight of the essence of these dispensations.
Singleness is a state to be pursued and not avoided.

1. Gives you more time for God
Ecclesiastes 12:1
You have time to spend with Him, seek Him, bond with Him, know Him etc. Relationships and marriage bring other responsibilities towards your partner. This takes away some of the time that could be spent in the presence of The Lord.

2. Gives you the space to set your mind on things above and things of the Spirit and not on the carnal.
Romans 8:6

We need to realign our minds, souls and spirits on the things of the Spirit while single. That way, when a suitor presents himself, our observations won't be on the carnal and physical things - but we will make spiritually-backed decisions. 

3. Gives you the time and space to serve God radically - through church, fellowships etc (Hebrews 10:25)

When you become married, your marriage becomes your first ministry. That's where your devotion should lie. Your single years will give you the freedom to serve God without distractions, with all your energy etc. you can do marathon fasts, pray as long as you want etc 

1 Corinthians 7:32-35
This is truly the time to see seeds and develop character and skills that will be needed in future relationships.
Let us not put all out efforts into avoiding this stage but rather embrace it. The dividends of joy, peace, discipline, submission, love etc that we enjoy in relationships are a result of the investments we make during our single years! 
Enjoy being single!"

If you read it to the end, I really hope you got a thing or two.
Bless you x

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