Surprise party that the bride was not surprised

Once upon a time 

In the kingdom of Mahana mahana

there lived a small little girl called Debbie 

Debbie, always thought she was not a "wedding ceremony" type of person, 

but recent events have proved her wrong: wedding guest at her high school friend's wedding, team "support the bride" at her friend's wedding introduction and now "surprise" bridal shower planner for the first person she fought with in this world -- one of THE SISTERs!

Eiiiss a bridesmaid year guys. 

Yesterday, I planned what was supposed to be a surprise bridal shower for my sister 😃😃😃 

Emphasis on "supposed to be"

It obviously didn't help that I started planning the bridal shower by 2pm a day before.  

It was not my fault guys! 

You see, the way my brain is set up ehn

sometimes, last minute events are appealing. 

“Hello googu.. how do I plan a bridal shower?”

“Hi, Tola... where can I get bridal shower props from?”

“Ahh Deola, what do they do at bridal showers?” 

“Lady, can I fry plantain as the "small chops" at the bridal shower?” 

At a point, my students seeing how desperate I was, started helping me in the less than 24 hours planning of a SURPRISE bridal shower. 

“Miss Mo, You can get a cake from coldstone”

Eisss like these students don't know I am a teacher. 

Ordinary teacher! 

How much do they think my salary is?

Especially in February, when you have borrowed against your whole salary in January that did not want to end. 

Please allow me to be Ijebu. 

Eiiss it your Ijebu? 😒😒😒😒

Major Task: Invite the bride’s friends

So you see ehn, although my sister and I live in different states, we somehow somehow, get to hang out with each other every now and then. 

But just like me, even though we have a large pool of friends from different places and for different reasons, our keeping in touch with people('s) game isn't the strongest! 

Yes, we know, we know it’s a bad habit 😢😢😢 

but sometimes too much crowd isn’t good *straight face* 

So the questions were:

Which of her friends had she told about the wedding?

 How many of their contacts do I have? 

“Heey, who are Sister Queen’s friends and do you have their numbers?” 

“Heeey, who are Lizzy’s friends and do you have their contacts?” 

"Our husband, oya oo-- send my your wife's friends' phone numbers"

When family and "family to be" were not forthcoming with contacts, I had no choice but to look for her friends on the gram.

Guyss! 

My detective game is on point. 

As innnn!

see the way I went through all her posts looking for anyone she was in anyway extra nice to. 

But you know girls nah? 

Everybody is “love” “hunny” “dear”

“Thank you love”

“You look beautiful dear” 😒😒

It was difficult! 

But just as I said, my detective game is on point -- like full stop 😁😁😁

Finally, all was set: 

I had travelled from my small village to her town, 

gone shopping, 

laboured in the kitchen, 

burnt small chops 😃😃

It was now time to expect the bride, 

(she had no idea I was coming to her house, 'cos she was at work when I came in to do the set up).

Just before her arrival time, I told myself and the people around:

 “Let me quickly shower and dress up before she gets home”. 

Two minutes later, while in the bathroom, someone opened the bathroom door 

😃😃😃

Surprise party that the bride came to meet me in the bathroom 😃😃

I had to send her back to the door, to act surprised

The Weekend that Was 4

"If you must blink, do it now. 

Pay attention to everything you see and hear, 

no matter how unusual it may seem.

And please be warned, if you fidget, if you look away, 

if you forget any part of what I tell you, 

 even for an instant, 

then you will miss the post on my initiation into attending introduction ceremonies"

(Kubo and the two strings)

Saturday: 

In my other life, I identify as an Igbo girl, but in this life 

I am from Zion.

Yes, Zion -- I am neither Igbo, Yoruba, 

or any of the other tribes people try to force on me

Ehn hen -- is it your Zion? -- (read this as an answer to your comments on my origin).

What better way to get initiated into attending wedding ceremonies, 

than at a Igbo traditional ceremony

But despite my eagerness, 

the "no-wedding ceremony" part of me was still looking for a reason to turn down the invite.

But how can I turn down my "sister's" wedding?

Luckily, the ceremony wasn't rowdy, 

 food and drinks were overflowing,

 Nobody said things like: 

"This seat is for the pope from the village oo"

Or 

"sit here only if you came with a gift"

Or

"This seat is reserved for the Holy Spirit"

Honestly, I have heard a lot of things at wedding ceremonies. 

The ceremony itself was simple and short. 

I think the main event was concluded in just an hour:

There were Igbo talks,

the anxious bride was "secured" in her room

the groom looked almost as anxious as the bride, especially in the midst of all the Igbo parables

And of course garden eggs for the culture. 

As usual, the bride carried a glass of red wine to her husband

(Thinking about it now, shouldn't it have been a glass of palm wine)? 

People expected the bride to do the whole "searching for her groom" thing 

before giving him the cup -- but trust my Deedee nah,

Babe just went straight to the point

"We are not here for jokes yo!"

Sunday: 

I realised the fuel scarcity was back, 

and my car's (Alice) tank was on red. 

Sigh-- I had so much confidence in getting fuel on my way back to my "village"

But Alice, got the shock of her fuel life. 

Trust Nigeria to take  "no one knows what tomorrow will bring" to a greater dimension. 

With no working filling station, I had to hustle for fuel:

It's another weekend now, and I have another wedding ceremony to attend. 

Eisss like I am slowly getting over my phobia for wedding ceremonies. 

Minister of Christmas in nine days 😐😐

Houston we have a problem!!!!

I am having such a quiet year, which automatically means I am lacking blog content. 

Like, I really have nothing interesting to blog about these days. sigh

I keep telling myself “Debo, you need to blog ooo”. But mba nothing interesting wants to happen— so absolutely no content. 

But guess what? It's Friday guys! and this weekend, for the first time ever, I am going to attend an Igbo introduction ceremony. I have never attended a wedding introduction party, because I always find an excuse not to attend any form of wedding party. 

I always feel like they are too rowdy, too many people forming "familiarity". 

The worst part is when they start telling you:

"This food is for the bride's family alone oo"

"Sorry, the souvenir is for the groom's family alone"

"Don't sit here oo! These chairs are reserved" 

Like please, why was I invited if they'll still form segregation-- and aren't the couple one, why divide up food, chairs and souvenir. sigh :( 

I really wonder if I can go through the whole wedding stress honestly :( 

On the positive side, I really feel strongly about the introduction party I am attending tomorrow, because the bride is like a YOUNGER sister to me... YUUULZ! I am older than her with nine (9) whole days. Do you know what nine days is? 

So much can happen in nine days.

I can become a billionaire in nine days  😐😐

I can become the president in nine days 😐😐 

Okay, maybe not the president, 'cos I am not really about that life. 

But I can become the minister of Christmas in nine days. 

Anyway guys! I am really excited about tomorrow. 

One of mine is getting married 💃🏼💃🏼💃🏼 

Can I have my holiday back?

Happy new year! 💃🏼💃🏼💃🏼💃🏼

The year is barely two weeks old, yet I have learnt a major lesson -- Never go on holidays, or you’ll come back to work feeling worse than before. 

Sigh

Don't get me wrong, I love my job! But in the past four years, I have not taken a real "break" -- I still always had "work" to do during the holiday season. 

So, I am really quite new to doing absolutely nothing -- which was basically me this past Christmas holiday.

All I did was eat, sleep, eat, sleep, eat, get fat, get fatter, eat, and watch Yoruba movies. 😐 

Don't judge me please 😒😒

By Tuesday of my first week back to work, I was already looking forward to my next work break.  

You know it is real when you start lying to yourself on Tuesday that Friday is just around the corner  😐 

Now on to the highlights of my Christmas break:

1. I found out that my dad reads my blog posts and sometimes gists about them with my mum 😐 

I imagine their conversation will be something like

 "Ehn hen! Oya, come and see what your daughter has written oo" 

sigh, but daddy and mummy, is it necessary? 

2. I spent the entire break indoors with my family-- it's been so long since this happened, so I made sure to enjoy every bit of it. 

Thanks to the fuel scarcity -- there was no fuel to go out to "ja-ye" (enjoy life). 

So I basically, ate! ate! ate! forced my mum to cuddle me! ate and ate again. 

The good part was, we got to do ALL our Christmas traditions, especially the food related ones: making and eating a large basin of chin chin, roasting yam and of-course killing goat. 

3. I briefly met up with some friends from high school— some I hadn’t seen in over 9 years. 

Last time we saw, we were just leaving high school, still thinking of petty things-- now some of us are fathers and mothers  

Dear reader, I am no longer your age mate! Old woman typing here please 😐😐

4. I got the most amazing Christmas present ever— 

Perhaps I should go back to the DJ life? 

5. I slept at least thrice everyday 

6. I became FAT 

7. I decided to lose the fat through exercise

 I ended up with a sprained ankle from all the jogging and what not. and guess what? I don't think I lost even one kg. 😐😐

Well, here we are-- definitely back to work... 

Just incase my employers are reading this -- While the holiday was great, I am glad to be back to work 

Sykes