Showing posts with label story. Show all posts
Showing posts with label story. Show all posts

Sunday, December 8, 2013

"I am talking to my girlfriend.... Oh yes! I'll be your girlfriend"

Lol! My friend told me this rather interesting story the other day.. And I thought I should share it with you guys. 
So, I have this friend that likes forming "I am from London, but I school in Aberdeen". Lol! This brother came to UK for the first time when he was about to start uni oooo. 
But he has borrowed the oyinbo accent and dressing very well, that's why when people ask him "hey, where are you from"... He'll use the Brixton (London) accent and say "I am from London innit" 
For the purpose of this post, lets call him Uncle London. 
Lol! I know I'll be in deep trouble because of this post, but this gist is sweet. 
So there was this babe Uncle London was "doing",  he never asked her out or anything, but they "saw" eachother... Went to movies, she slept over at his house occasionally, basically, they were having a thing. lets call her "Lola" (not pronounced in the Yoruba opening of mouth way oo... pronounce it like you are Bri'ish-- Loola) 
Now Uncle London sees himself as a player. Like the next best thing after sliced bread. Youuuu knnnooowww... Those guys that apparently girls cant say NO to... I don't know what they see in him sha, but hey!!!!!! 
One day, Uncle London was on the phone with "Lola" when his flatmate's babe walked into the room. 
Flatmate's babe: who are you on the phone with? 
Uncle London : My girlfriend. 
Gheun! Lola's ear sparked at the mention of "my girlfriend" 
Lola: (On the phone) Give me a minute. I'll call you back. 
Uncle London: (wondering whats wrong) erm... Okay. 

Five minutes later Lola calls back... 

Lola: Uncle London...
Uncle London: Yes? 
Lola: OKAY. 
Uncle London: Okay what? 
Lola: OKAY. I'LL BE YOUR GIRLFRIEND. 
Uncle London burst out laughing. 

Lol! So apparently, because Uncle London called her his girlfriend on the phone... Joke or no joke oooo, Lola took it personal and gave an answer to a question she was not asked. 
At the end of the day, it all boils down to one thing.... "The kingdom of God suffereth violence. And the Violeth taketh it by force" 

What do you guys think? Should ladies be more aggressive in claiming what they want? 

Thursday, April 4, 2013

Story of the Day

Morning everyone, How was your night? Splendid? Or like mine? I slept on the same bed with my brother last night and he bastardised my face with his legs while turning every minute :( Should have just slept in my room oo. Dunno who sent me message. (Ta lo ro m'ise)

I was playing across the streets of twitter yesterday when I saw a tweet about the two faced man called Edward Mordrake of the 19th century. I decided to read more, with the help of google I read some enlightening articles... And here I am telling ya'll the story of the day....

Before I go further, the story of Edward Mordrake cannot be said to be fully true. Some articles presented it as a "tale" talking about how there is no documented evidence, and how it's bn a pass down tale from generation to generation just like the story of tortoise and king lion....
Some also went ahead to say, the pictures people see today about Edward wasnt a real picture, but an artist's representation of how Edward would have looked.
Edward was said to have an "evil twin" at the back of his head... The face could not talk or eat, but laughed, cried, sneered and according to Edward, whispered evil things to him. It was said that the face made "faces" to people, and the lips always moved, sometimes mimicking others, but a word was never heard.
Edward claimed his "evil twin" tormented him at night, and although most of the articles described Edward's front face to be "quite" handsome, the back face was said to be "demon-looking"
Some articles went ahead to say how much of a fine young man Edward was; he was termed a scholar in some, others wrote about his love for music, art and other fine things of life.
However at the age of 23, it is recorded that Edward could not take it no more *i cannot take it no more 🎶* and decided to commit suicide. While some believe he did so by poisoning, others said he put a bullet through the eyes of his evil twin; leaving a note which said the face should be removed from his head before burying him, just so the evil twin does not torment him in the grave.

A similar story to Edward's was that of Chang Tzu Ping who was discovered in the late 70s or early 80s... However, unlike Edward, there was documented evidence of Chang's face, even a tv appearance on the show called "that's incredible" which showed the journey of Chang from China to America to surgically remove the face.

Monday, November 12, 2012

No name - Chapter 2


Chapter 2 - Ukwala Village

Ukwala is a village in the Eastern part of the country. Beautiful culture but terrible people. We were formerly a part of the Nuger Delts, but due to rivalry, we cut off and formed our own community. When looking at the map of the country, you'll still see Ukwula as part of the Nuger Delts, but in our minds we are of a different origin.
Madam Ejiogu was our next door neighbour; she was a widow with three little children. Her husband Ejiogu died in the war; the war that divided us from Nuger Delts; ever since, she was left to raise two little girls and an unborn baby, who turned out to be a boy, on her own.

     Uloma, Nneka and Ejiogu were all beautiful kids. After school on days I didnt have homework, I helped Madam Ejiogu look after her kids while she managed her small canteen right in front of her house.
     "mgbede oma" Good eveneing ma. I said.
     "Aah Da-alu nwa'm. Kedu maka akwukwo." Thank you my child, how is school. Madam Ejiogu asked.
"Fine ma, how are the children? I don't have homework today, maybe I could look after them for you for a while."
"Aaah, God bless you my child. They are just playing at the back yard. Please come and eat something before you go and see them."

       I followed her to the kitchen, where a pot of soup was boiling on the small charcoal stove; plates and pans were littered everywhere, the floor was wet ; the whole kitchen was a total mess. Madam Ejiogu was far from being the neat type. Worsened with the kids she had to take care of; it was a miracle people still ate at her canteen. I could bet they would never come a million miles near any food cooked here, if they ever saw her kitchen.
     "Ehn, aunty I am not too hungry again" I said.
     "Ah, but you were hungry just a minute my child, what happened to your appetite?"
The irony of the question. My appetite disappeared the very minute I set my eyes on the kitchen.
      "Nothing aunty. I just remembered that I ate at home before coming here."
     "But your mother is not in, who gave you food? Or you have started stealing eh my child?" she said with a crooked smile.
I replied with a fake laugh "Ah no aunty, not at all. Chimdi my elder brother left a wrap of cassava meal at home with little soup."
    "That's okay my dear, I'll pack a few wraps of wheat meal with my special ogbono soup for you when you are going eh. You can go to the kids at the back, let me look after my pot of soup on the fire."
      "Okay aunty. Da-alu ooo."

"Aunty Aunty." The kids shouted as soon as they saw me coming.
"Aunty, Ejiogu pushed me while we were playing snakes and ladder" Nneka reported
"No Aunty, Nneka pushed me first, and I had to fight back to preserve my dignity as a man". Ejiogu said boldly while beating his hands on his chest.
I started smilling, but immediately stopped when I realized he was serious and the other kids looked a bit frightened.
"No darling" I said. "Fighting a girl doesnt make you a man, it makes you a coward."Good men do not fight atall, talk less of beating a woman".
"I am sorry Aunty, I just assumed she'll respect me more when she knows that I could beat her up"
"Now you know better, can you apologize to your sister" I said.
"I'm sorry Nneka, I will never beat or push you again" Ejiogu said
"Aaah, please let's play, this is becoming too much of an emotional conversation" Uloma said. Uloma was propably in sixth grade, and was a really smart child but a rather unpatient one.
"Okay children, who wants to play boju-boju" I asked.
"I, I, I" They choroused.

Usually after playing games with the kids, I helped them with their homework, but I knew today was going to be different, as I had a whole lot on my mind, and was probably not going to be able to concentrate.
Mother has been having this weird conversations about marriage with me. It is really surprising that mother could think of me getting married to Uncle Chigozirim, brother of the local palmwine tapper. I just started menstruating a month ago, marriage looked like a far away thing. I mean, I never saw myself getting married at the age of twelve, and worse, getting married to a 32 year old man.
Father hadn't really said anything about the marriage, but judging from the way things have been at home lately, mother obviously had the last say.

Uncle Chigozirim was supposed to come by the house this evening to pay me a "little visit" as mother called it; but what went through my mind was sickening. Although he lived in the city, he frequented the village to see his sick mother and to finalise the supposed marriage.

Apart from mother, father and I, only one other person knew about my supposed marriage; Ibrahim and I had been classmates from elementary school although he was five years older than me; as he started school late. His parents moved from the North and came East when he was about eight years old. Ibrahim is taller than most boys in my class and considerably skinner. We bonded over purnishment in primary school and soon we became best of friends even though our parents barely talk to each other, for reasons best known to them.

     Things between Ibrahim and I recently got heated. The other day, I went to play at Ibrahim's kiosk; which he manages after school. While he was pursuing me, trying to snatch the newspaper I was reading, his lips brushed mine.
It was a funny experience; my body felt hot all over and for an unknown reason, Ibrahim suddenly looked very attractive. After that day, conversation between us became a bit awkward, we no longer played the way we used to, he started treating me like a lady, unlike the boyish way he treated me before.
When I finally summoned enough courage to tell Ibrahim about the marriage arrangement, he was thoroughly pissed and even said he was going to have a word with my mum. Knowing Ibrahim, a word wasn't how the conversation would turn out to be.

"Aunty, Aunty" Nneka called.
"Yes, Nneka" I snapped out my thoughts.
"Aunty, are you okayI have bn calling you for a while."
"Yes my darling, I am fine. I just need to go lie down for a bit. my head hurts." 
"Aunty, you can lay on my mat if you want" Ejiogu added.

I started walking to the room, as they continued playing without a care in the world. What I'll give to be a little girl once more.

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Comments and reactions are much appreciated, and let me know if ya'll are interested in reading the third chapter :) 


- Debbie Motilewa