About four months ago, my dad called for a family meeting -- Apparently, we [the kids] had been slacking for a while, and so he needed to talk some sense into us 😕😕😕
During the course of this family meeting, my dad asked my immediate senior sister a very serious question... Trust me! This question was the king of questions. It's a question that makes every child think deep and quickly re-analyse their life and what they stand for.
Before I tell you the question, let me give you a brief biography of my sister -- the person the question was posed at
This is my sister
Her real name is Elizabeth, but growing up, she preferred to be called Queen Elizabeth. But you know how Nigerians [especially Nigerian parents] are with long names? So I want to call your name and you expect me to call like fifteen[15] syllables?
So when I am angry at you and want to beat you for not washing the plates I will now be like
"Queen Elizabeth, Queen Elizabeth, Queen Elizabeth. How many times did I call you? Oya bring that cane here"
So, somehow somehow, we just started calling her Queen at home.
But as if the name Queen wasn't enough😠😕😠 -- there was a period of adolescence in my house when my sisters and I fought each other, and somehow always disrespected each other -- Imagine having three young girls growing up together? If we are not fighting over shirt today, we are fighting about who will wash the dishes or mummy's clothes, or who will be the errand girl for the day.
Being the youngest, I was always at the losing end of those battles, so I was very vocal -- I would insult everyone I could insult, knowing that even though I didn't win the battle, at least someone chopped enough insult to last them a week, and so my mum made a new rule in the house --
we must respect each other, and respect starts with a change of name. So I had to start calling my sisters "Aunty"
Imagine how difficult it was to say "Aunty Queen, you are stupid". Even your common sense will just be like "But Debo, don't you have common sense?"
Luckily for us, my mum's sister came to visit during the "aunty days", and thought it was just too somehow for us to be calling each other "aunty", so they watered the name down a bit, and I started calling my sister "Sister Queen".
I still call her Sister Queen till now, 'cos the name stuck. But whenever we go out with her friends, she is always like "Stop calling me Sister Queen na", but in my head, I am always like "Ehn hen, so because now you are posh you don't like the title, but when you wanted respect growing up, you didn't know ba? My friend enjoy the name".
So basically, Sister Queen was the recipient of the question my dad asked.
Now, back to the family meeting
Sister Queen is four years older than me, and she is a medical doctor in a children's hospital.
So in the heat of the meeting, my dad asked my medical doctor with over five years' experience this question --
wait for it...
keep waiting for it....
wait for it.......
What do you want to be in Future?
It was at this point that we all got confused.
You see, my dad had been trying to get my sister to do some applications, which she had been slacking on, so I guess he wasn't really referring to her career, but other things. But, the rest of that story is conversation for another day...
Now, back to me --
This morning, I woke up really tired-- because I had spent my whole weekend in Lagos, and maybe enjoyed it just a little bit too much -- I got back to my city in the village yesterday afternoon, and barely made it to the office.
Usually, my Mondays are pretty relaxed -- I teach my first and only class between 5 - 7pm. On the contrary, my Tuesdays are hectic -- I literally have work to do from the minute I wake up by 5am, till 6pm. Teaching from one class to another, meetings left and right, and everything normal human beings do 😞😞😞
So when the world is crying on Sunday night about the end of the weekend, I start my own tears on Monday night.
Anyway, I woke up by 4am this morning, ready to start my Tuesday hustle, and I decided to answer the question my dad asked sister Queen four months ago
"What do you want to be in future?"
Brethren, after doing an entire SWOT [Strength, Weakness, Opportunity and Threat] analysis, I decided that I really do like TLC [Tender, Loving. Care], and it only makes sense to change my career-- to one that will guarantee me TLC every day.
On that note, Ladies and gentlemen, I have decided that I want to become
a PROFESSIONAL CUDDLER
Google defn: a person that snuggles professionally
My defn: Staying in bed all day, watching tv and eating chicken
In the space of two hours, [since my discovery of this new career path that I would like to follow] I have started doing some research and making plans for a change in career --
My future is here guys!--
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