Are you Obesophobic?

Every now and then, I hear of people who struggle with their weight, but it all seems like those people are not existent. But recently, I came to the conclusion that I may be having weight challenges as well. 

I sometimes consider myself a "sometimes fitness junkie". I like eating healthy, I'd rather have a bowl of vegetable to a tray of snacks.

I'd rather eat a plate of beans than a bowl of pounded yam. 

I'd rather go for a morning jog than sleep all morning. 

Yet, I sometimes struggle with my weight. 

I'll give you a break down of my weight history:

• I was "fit" in Secondary school; I attended a boarding house, so I didn't have the luxury of excess chocolates. 

• In my first year in Uni; first time living alone, first time being in charge of what my fridge contained. I made sure I had an overflowing fridge. 

A few months into uni, and I had moved from a size 8 to an almost size 12. 

I thought I liked it for a bit, because my bum increased also, made me look more curvy and grown. 

I came home for summer, and had an earful; some people liked the extra weight, some didn't. I also realised the extra weight had not so great effects on me: 

• I realised I was slower
• I took more minutes to walk
• Got tired a bit too easy, and 
• I generally began to feel uncomfortable. 

This could have bn as a result of the many things I heard around me . P.s. There is power in what you hear. 

• The vacation was over, and I went back to University with a mission to lose weight. I went on beans diest, because I hoped it'd help with my height, and I remember from my primary school home economics class, that protein helped you keep in shape. 

• I registered with a gym very close to my house
• I sometimes fooled myself on the basketball court
• I avoided keeping snacks at home, and 
• I participated in as many activities as possible to keep my mind off food. 

At the end of my second year in Uni, I had gone down to somewhere between a size 6 and 8, which I maintained all through my undergraduate and masters years. 

I finally moved back home (IJGB), I still continued with my fitness routine, but I sometimes cheated on my diet. 

• Mid 2013, June to be precise, I went through my usual yearly self appraisal, and decided I needed to work harder at being a "total man". This included
• working on my spiritual life and 
• working harder on my fitness life

Thus, I took my fitness "junkiness" to the next level:

• I was very particular about what I ate
• I was very particular about my jogging time.

The Result: I lost some more weight, and built some nice muscles. 

This seriosness continued till mid 2014; 

• I had another self appraisal session, where I decided needed to look "more womanly".

Looking more womanly, involved adding some weight, which has direct proportion to growth of the bum and boobs, thus leading to a very "womanly curve", as I called it. And so I indulged in every junk I found, added some weight, till I moved to a full size 10. 

I LOVED the new weight, everyone LOVED the new weight. 

Fast forward to the begining of this year;  I had a meeting with God, which meant I had to cease excess intake of food for a while, and carefully monitor my actions during the day. 

Three months into the year, my "special meeting" was accomplished, and I realised I had dropped back to a small size 8. 

But weirdly I LOVED IT! All my clothes fit me perfectly, I felt lighter, I felt ready to take on the world (this may have bn a result of the meeting, not so sure). 

Three weeks after my GRAND feeling, here I am, feeling a little bit meaty. Still a size 8, but every now and then I have to consciously consider what I eat, I have to ensure a little exercise here and there, despite my very busy schedule. 

These days, I find myself very picky about what I eat, I can't see the fat coming, but I feel like I just may be Obesophobic - the fear of getting weight or becoming fat. 

And because this is my PERSONAL BLOG. I am allowed to rant here :) 

The not so fun part about struggling with my weight is the fact that everyone says "what do you mean by you are watching your weight, please you are fit". 

And I tell them "If I wasn't very particular about my weight would I be this fit?" 

How are you all doing? 

My exams are going great, thanks be to God.